Did you know you were using killer phrases? Does it shock you when I say "we all use killer phrases"? You do, I do, everyone does. Before we can perform today's intervention, we need to recognize the problem. A killer phrase may not physically kill us, but it kills our self-esteem and our momentum that we need to propel us forward to be successful. Some examples of killer phrases are: I can't, I won't, I have to, I'm not. If you don't see anything wrong with just the fragments listed above, think about a sentence containing the phrase: I can't seem to get up in the morning. I won't be able to achieve my goal. I have to go to that meeting this afternoon. I'm not as talented as she is. Yikes!
Didn't any of us watch Saturday Night Live in the 80's with Stuart Smalley when he would look in the mirror and say: "I'm smart enough, I'm strong enough, and gosh darn it people like me!"? When did we start using killer phrases...and why...??? You'll have to answer that for yourself, or chat with your counselor. There's no couch in my office because I have enough trouble solving my own problems - but that's another story for another time. Here's what I do know. We NEED to stop kicking our own butts. There are plenty of people out there willing to kick us - why would we feel the need to tell ourselves anything so negative as I can't, I won't, I have to, or I'm not? Our self-esteem is depending on us to be positive. Put on that cheerleading skirt and grab those pompons and be prepared to be your own biggest fan. NOW!
Send those killer phrases off to rehab and let them complete some sort of 12 step program while you wiggle into that cheerleading outfit. Ready? Yes! Go ahead! Instead of saying I can't do something, replace it with a positive statement: I plan to improve on something. These are much easier to understand in context. Let's go back to our earlier examples: I can't seem to get up in the morning. I won't be able to achieve my goal. I have to go to that meeting this afternoon. I'm not as talented as she is. We have all agreed these are killer statements (or at least I don't hear any arguments). Now, let's take those same thoughts - after rehab, they'll sound something like this: I have a goal to become more of a morning person; I'm improving. I have set a goal to wake up 15 minutes early each day. I have an opportunity to go to a meeting today; I'm looking forward to learning something new. I'm going to ask her where she learned that so I can be just as talented and knowledgeable as she is.
Doesn't it feel a lot better to tell yourself positive things? You are a beautiful person, a talented over-achiever, a patient parent, a sympathetic spouse. Of course there are times when you don't live up to those accolades, but over all you know you're a great person who is capable of anything you set your mind to. Send those killer phrases off to rehab and vow to be your biggest fan. Keep that cheerleading skirt on because you're going to need it. You're going to be successful, because you deserve it! And most importantly, stop kicking your own butt...really...focus that energy on starting your own fan club. YOU are worth it!
Are you looking for Crystal's style of Executive partnering/coaching? She would be happy to partner with you and your team. To learn more, go to: http://www.relaxconsulting.com/
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